100% recycled newspaper in my underware

ug. I am tired of being dirty. Dirty like not clean, not dirty as in ____ old man. That's a given.

I had to back track some the past few days and open up a ceiling area, climb into the morass which is hot and dirty, look upward, and let plywood shards, roofing tar paper, and shingle grit fall into my eyes. Glamorous I have not been lately people. I think my afternoon dazed and dispondent look is scaring my normally upbeat coffee house friends.

The shower floor looks like a river of mud when I first step in. gross. I think I sneezed the front page of the riverfront times yesterday too. Some story about a drunk cycling coach at Lindenwood.

I used to think the dirt and grime was cleansing in a way really. honest work and whatnot. It still feels like that sometimes. But when the weather turns humid, and the skin gets sticky, a body becomes a magnet for all that is filth. I feel like pigpen by 10am everyday. Did I really give up a salaried desk job with benefits and boredom for this?

An architect came by today and marveled at the transformation; I assume he has tracked the downfall of this property and the pheonix-like rise from the ashes. He commented about the fun part being over. That the finish work was really not so interesting. I am enamored with all aspects of the process. But at this point, I am ready for finish work. It is a refinement of rough work. It is a crisp edge to otherwise knotty and warped lumber. It is cleaner than dealing with roof and insulation and backerboard dust.

I am ready for this last phase. However, I am saddened that it will likely define my creativity, my effort, and my skills. Paint is just paint. But the 150#s of hand-driven nails - a thing of beauty. A perfectly laid tile pattern is mundane. But the demolition saw cut was plumb and deep and true. A nail gun can make trim work easy. But carefully pulling square cut nails for an artist friend to incorporate into...art.

My joy will be in the memories of daily efforts at the end of this one. The final take will be a gentle end to a previous high.